Pony dot com
by ShiningShadow1965
Summary: Equestria discovers the worldwide web, and created a chatroom called Pony dot com. Enjoy everybody this ride is ready to go.
1. Chapter 1

**Ok guys I know some of you are waiting for the next chapter of Rays of Hope working on it and will be done soon. Right now I have created something for the comedy aspect from me and Biggmomma46, check it out really funny stuff ok anyway I don't own My Little Pony Friendship is Magic belongs to Hasbro and anything else belongs to their respected owners enjoy.**

**Chapter 1: Chat room Discussion**

Its midday in Ponville, Twilight is reading as usual when she hears a ding on her computer.

**Twikle logs in:**

**Skittles:** *_sighs_* I'm bored there's nothing to do today.

**Twikle:** Hello Everypony, Skittles why are you bored?

**Skittles:** I've done all my chores and now I'm home from work.

**Dr. Shy:** Hello Twikle

**Twikle:** Hello Shy what's up?

**Dr. Shy:** I have been very busy and I'm taking a break.

**Biggflank:** Hello everypony.

**Skittles:** *_giggles*_ Biggflank?

**Biggflank**: Yes darling, it's better than Homewrecking Skank.

**Sweet Lucille:** I like Homewrecking skank better.

**50maggs:** Sweet Lucille give it a rest already

**Sweet Lucille:** 50maggs **BITE ME!**

**50maggs:** Let me pack a lunch it will take me all day. :P

**Sweet Lucille:** Never heard you complained before .

**50maggs **I feel so much love around here. :P

**Twikle:** What's the matter poor baby has no love coming to you. (_In a sarcastic tone_)

**Skittles:** What's the matter with you? You are twice the stallion in all equestria and there you are boo hooing here what's the deal?

**Sweet Lucille:** Are you still trying to get Twilight to have dinner with you?

**50maggs:** Yeah but Twilight says she is always busy I slave over a stove cooking and what happens, it never **HAPPENS**.

**Sweet Lucille: **Can we say **DRAMA QUEEN!**

**Skittles: ***_Chuckles_* Looks like you have stiff competition Rarity.

**Biggflank: **Well: I'm not a drama queen all the time (_Rarity huffed at the screen_)

**Sweet Lucille: **only **99.9% **of the time.

**Biggflank: **Well what do you know about it? (_Rarity continued to huff at the screen_)

**Sweet Lucille: LISTEN! YOU HOMEWRECKING SKANK! YOU ARE ALWAYS A DRAMA QUEEN! AND YOU THINK YOU ARE ALL THAT! BUT YOU AIN'T!**

**50maggs: **Ladies please let's not go there it's still daylight outside.

**Skittles: **Too late 50maggs she went there.

**Biggflank: **Well I never!

**Sweet Lucille: **You should try it sometimes it's fun.

**50maggs: **

**A/N: Original idea came from other sources but mostly is my idea, this story has a different twist to it. Also check out Geasswolf stories he's a very good writer and check out my best friends here in my vast list of author's and give them the support of reading and reviewing them and finally my wife Biggmomma46 give her some loving and read and review her oneshots thanks everypony.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok everypony here's chapter 2 and you know the deal and MLFIM I don't own it belongs to Hasbro and Queen Lauren Faust *Bows* Ok that's out of the way lets get the show going. Also all the wrestlers name is from WWE, TNA, and any other federation that belongs to them**

** Chapter 2 Hoofamania**

Everypony is on line and the chatter is Princess Celestia has tickets to Hoofamania for everypony.

**Sweet Lucille: ** Hey 50maggs.

**Sweet Lucille: **Hey 50maggs!

**Sweet Lucille: HEY 50MAGGS!**

**50maggs: **Cool your jets girl what's up?

**Sweet Lucille: **Did the Princess contact you about being a commentator at Hoofamania?

**50maggs: **Does a bear shit in the woods? Yes I accepted the offer what about you?

**Sweet Lucille: **To quote Stone Cold "**OH HELL YEAH!**"

**Twikle: **What is Hoofamania?

**50maggs: **Seriously Twi you are asking this?

**Sweet Lucille: **Google it, Bing it, go to your Ponybook account and look it up and like it.

**Sweet Lucille: **Hey Dash your favorite wrestler is going to be there.

**Skittles: **ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh, oh my goooooooooosh, the enigma Jeff Hardy I got my tickets; It's great to be an Element getting this perk.

**Dr. Shy: **Um…. Sweet Lucille…..

**Sweet Lucille: **Yes Baby girl.

**Dr. Shy: ** Daniel Bryant and Hulk Hogan going to be there?

**Sweet Lucille: **Yes they are.

**Dr. Shy: YES! YES! YES!... WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WHEN HULKAMANIA RUNS WILD ON YOU.**

**50maggs: **Boy Fluttershy I didn't know you are a rabid fan of wrestling.

**Dr. Shy: IT'S TRUE IT'S DAMN TRUE!**

**50maggs: **Ok…..Glad you will be joining us

**Biggflank: **What is everypony getting so excited about?

**Sweet Lucille: HOOFAMANIA BABY!**

**Biggflank: **What is that is that sport Dash watches with those ruffians wrestling each other till one pin the other?

**50maggs: **Rare not you too, like we told Twi Google it.

**Skittles: **Maggs not necessary Rarity got her favorite

**50maggs: **Oh really? Who is that?

**Skittles: **C.M. Punk

**Sweet Lucille: **Ah Mr. Straight Edge.

**Biggflank: **Well he's the cuter one of the ruffians.

**Skittles: **Is that the reason you made a Tee shirt at your shop of his design and made several of them?

**Biggflank: **Uh….It's just for…..

**Very random mare: **Rare just admit it you got a thing for Mr. Straight Edge.

**Biggflank: **Coming from somepony that likes Randy Orton.

**Very random mare: APEX PREDATOR ROCKS!**

**Sweet Lucille: **no offense Pinkie, but Undertaker is the man.

**50maggs: **Oh jezz here we go.

**Sweet Lucille: **Hey Pinkie ask me later about his spiked vibrating tongue ring.

**Very random mare: **Ohhhhhh very sexy.

**50maggs: **You know I don't want to hear this.

**Sexypurpledragon: **Did somepony said Spike?

**50maggs: **Nah dude Lucille at it again

**Sexypurpledragon: ***_face claw_* Undertaker again.

**Sweet Lucille: **Spike go back to sleep and dream about Velvet Sky.

**Sexypurpledragon: **I'm up already and in my claws tickets for Hoofamania.

**Applebuck: **Well y'all got yours guys alt got the Stinger.

**Muffin Queen: **What about Sexual Chocolate?

**50maggs: **….?

**Skittles: **….?

**Applebuck: **…..?

**Biggflank: **…?

**Very random mare: **…..?

**Sexypurpledragon: **…?

**Sweet Lucille: **Derpy I can't believe everypony is speechless are you referring to Mark Henry?

**Muffin Queen: HELL YEAH!**

**Sweet Lucille: **Yo Thumping Angel.

**Thumping Angel: **What's up sweets?

**Sweet Lucille: **I have a request from R-Truth the day of Hoofamania he's inviting you to the ring to rap with him.

**Thumping Angel: **Ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh, oh my gooooooooooosh *_fangirl squeal_*

**Skittles: ** Hey scratch that's my line **:P**

**50maggs: **It seems this event will rock also as I know Lucille we will have two more commentators which is Tito Santana and Hector Guerrero and we will be at the Spanish announce table.

**Sweet Lucille: ***_Puts hoof on her chin_* Hmmmmmm Hector Guerrero *_makes purring noise_*

**50maggs: **Oh no what have I started today.

**Sweet Lucille: **Hey Anniegetyourgun.

**Anniegetyourgun: **Holla, Holla

**Sweet Lucille: **You ready?

**Anniegetyourgun: **You got that Playah.

**Sweet Lucille: **Got a surprise for you Teddy Long will be escorting you to the ring for your job as bell ringer.

**Anniegetyourgun: **Does he like black or red?

**Sweet Lucille: **He likes red I believed.

**Anniegetyourgun: **That's good I got a sexy red outfit for him.

**Applebuck: **Granny I don't want to hear this.

**Sweet Lucille: **Well do you want to hear this I got a black outfit for Undertaker.

**50maggs: **You are not helping keeping my mind sane with you two talking.

**Sweet Lucille: **Well everypony it's getting late, everypony have a good evening and Annie Holla, Holla, Playah.

_Everypony logs off:_

**Twikle: **I'm back and wow there's a lot of wrestlers there but I really like Triple H.

**Twikle: **Guys?...

**Twikle: **Guys?...

_Sweet Lucille is sleeping in front of her computer screen._

**50maggs: **Twi?

**Twikle: **Maggs where's everypony?

**50maggs: **They all logged out.

**Twikle: **Horsefeathers I missed out.

**50maggs: **We be back on tomorrow, say I have dinner ready would you….

**Twikle: **_Logged out_

**50maggs: NO LOVE AROUND HERE!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Ok everypony here's chapter 3 and you know the deal and MLFIM I don't own it belongs to Hasbro and Queen Lauren Faust *Bows* Ok that's out of the way lets get the show going. Also all wrestlers belongs to the WWE, TNA and all other federations.**

** Chapter 3 Hoofamania continues**

As word got around how certain ponies got tickets for the coveted event and how this event is televised on Pay-Per-View for 30 bits. As the pageantry was going on a ding was heard in a certain Princess room in which she replied.

**MolestiaSun: **Well hello everypony is somepony there?

**Twikle: **P…..Princess you are here in our chat room?

**MolestiaSun: **Well of course my faithful student.

**Twikle: **I have a question your majesty and please don't take it the wrong way.

**MolestiaSun: **Ask away Twilight.

**Twikle: **What's with your handle?

**MolestiaSun: **What do you mean?

**Twikle: **The name Molestia.

**MolestiaSun: **Oh that it's something I like and the random other one is Homewrecking skank that's not me at all.

**Twikle: **Oh…

**Sweet Lucille: **Hey what's going on here SUP TIA?

**Twikle: **Biggmomma that's now to speak to the Princess

**Sweet Lucille: **So Tia you ready for Hoofamania, I know you are ready to see John Cena.

**MolestiaSun: YOU BET YOUR FLANKS! JOHN CENA** *_fangirl scream*_

**Twikle: **Celestia that is no way for a Princess to act.

**Sweet Lucille: **Twilight did you wake up with a stick up your ass or were you were born that way?

**Twikle: **No I didn't wake up in constant PMS bitchy mood like you.

**50maggs: **Woah, woah, woah settle down you two. Jeeze I didn't finished my first cup of coffee this morning and both of you already starting.

**Sweet Lucille: **Well maggs, Twilight decides to be all hoity toity on me and everypony knows I'm Lucille and your not and that's all that matters.

**50maggs: **I know, Twilight you know better than to do that to Lucille.

**MolestiaSun: **Twilight it's fine and besides I was being myself and so excited that Lucille will introduce me to **JOHN CENA ***_fangirl scream_*

**50maggs: **Twilight you need to apologize to Lucille and Lucille you do it too ok?

**Sweet Lucille: **What? Ok I'm sorry to call you a uppidy, snobbish, tight assed, bookworm of a pony.

**Twikle: **I'm sorry I mentioned that reference to a broken down nag of a mare that has no sense.

**50maggs: **Okay….It seems love is back in the chat room I think?

**Sweet Lucille: LISTEN! TWILIGHT, AT LEAST I CAN GET A DATE UNLIKE YOU WHO HAS TO CALL 1-800-LESBO.**

**MolestiaSun: THAT'S ENOUGH YOU TWO!**(_The real original Canterlot Voice_)

**50maggs: **Damn Tia now I need to get a new woofer for my computer.

**Sweet Lucille: **I'm sorry Tia.

**Twikle: **I'm so sorry Princess and you Lucille

**Sweet Lucille: **We know you swing both ways.

**MolestiaSun: **That's enough Lucille or else I take away your all access pass.

**Sweet Lucille: **Ok, Tia I understand, and again I'm sorry.

**Sexual eternal night: **Tia did I miss something?

**MolestiaSun: **No Luna just using my diplomatic skills for this situation.

**Sexual eternal night: **Oh I know you are pumped for Hoofamania and** BIG SHOW! **(_Major fangirl scream_)

**50maggs: **Well that's it (_hears a gunshot in the background_) its official my woofer is dead as a doornail.

**Sweet Lucille: **maggs you are such a drama queen.

**50maggs: **Speak for yourself Lucille woofers are not cheap.

**Sweet Lucille: **"Whatever" sheesh such a drama queen.

**A/N: Ok that's the first three chapters and more coming somewhere down the line and do your job and read and review it. Also give some love to Biggmomma46 she just put up new oneshots check them out. Finally on last thing check out my favorite authors give them some loves especially Geasswolf in reading and reviews till next time.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Pony dot com**

**Alright everypony is asking for this list *stares at you* anyway it's here and I hope you will like it and all the ponies belongs to Hasbro and Queen Lauren Faust *Bows* and all the wrestlers here on this list belongs to WWE and TnA and their respectable federations enjoy. **

**Twilight: Twikle **

**Rarity: Biggflank**

**Applejack: Applebuck**

**Rainbow Dash: Skittles**

**Fluttershy: Dr. Shy**

**Pinkie Pie: Very random mare**

**Rodrigo: 50maggs**

**(he's my oc from Rays of Hope if you need to know him then read my story)**

**Biggmomma46: Sweet Lucille**

**(she's my wife and thats her oc check it out at her bio and read her oneshots)**

**Derpy Hooves: Muffin queen**

**Princess Celestia: MolestiaSun**

**Princess Luna: Sexualeternalnight**

**Big Mac: Eeyup man**

**Spike: Sexypurpledragon**

**Princess Cadence: Whateva mare**

**Shining Armor: Zorro**

**Octavia: Tavihearts**

**Discord: Mr. chaos**

**Prince Blueblood: Homewrecking skank**

**(if you want to know where it came read this story from NocturneD original sin and forbidden fruit.)**

**Vinyl scratch: Thumping angel**

**Fancy Pants: Mr. kindness**

**Soarin: Pieman (one time at band camp)**

**Spitfire: Redhot mamma**

**Trixie: Trixie the 3rd**

**Zecora: Rhyming queen**

**Cherilee: SweetT**

**Applebloom: Princessbuck**

**Sweetiebelle: Sweetcheeks**

**Scootaloo: Chickenfilly**

**Berry punch: Mumbles**

**Mayor mare: Mcougar**

**Granny Smith: Anniegetyourgun**

**Doctor Whooves: Timelordtardy**

**Nurse Redheart: Ouchie911**

**Bourbon: Hung like a horse**

**(read Lewis of Equestria by Silas Grim)**

**Braeburn: Mr. Appolosa**

**Dinky Doo: Little muffin**

**Babycakes: Girlypie**

**(oc of biggmomma46 read her story to find out more)**

**Snips: Tall drink of water**

**Rauf: Smellypup**

**Snails: Puddles**

**Diamond Tiara: Mclotsabitch**

**Silver Spoon: no.2**

**Wrestlers screen name signature moves ponies that liked them**

**Triple H: 3ft nose; Pedigree; Twilight**

**C.M. Punk: Mr. Pepsi; GTS; Rarity**

**Sting: Crowman; Scorpion Death drop; AppleJack**

**Jeff Hardy: Longhair freak; Twist of fate; Rainbow Dash**

**Dainel Bryan: Supergeek; Labell lock; Fluttershy**

**Hulk Hogan: 24inch pythons; Atomic legdrop; Fluttershy**

**Randy Orton: Mr. sunshine; RKO; Pinkie Pie**

**Lillian Garcia: Girlfriday; Mic hit; Rodrigo**

**Undertaker: Redheaded stranger; Tombstone piledriver; Sweet Lucille**

**Mark Henry: Chocolate gorilla man; Worlds Greatest Slam; Derpy Hooves**

**John Cena: Mr. Fruity Peebles; Attitude Adjustment; Princess Celestia**

**Big Show: BLT; The Showstopper; Princess Luna**

**Stephine McMahon: Hoochiemama; slaps and kicks in nuts; Big Mac**

**Velvet sky: Queen of kotex; Russian leg sweep; Spike**

**Bobby Roode: Mr. Congenality; Double R spinebuster; Princess Cadence**

**Vickie Guerrero: Excuseme lady; Hog splash; Shining Armor**

**Abyss: Monster Inc; Blackhole slam; Octavia**

**Mae Young: Methuselah Bride; Elbow drop, Bronco buster; Discord**

**GoldDust: Bluebloods love child; Shattered Dreams; Prince Blueblood**

**R-Truth: LilJohnny; Lie Detector/ axe kick; Vinyl Scratch**

**Paul Bearer: Bigboy; Urn smash; Fancy Pants**

**Beth Phoenix: Lilshorty; The Glam Slam; Soarin**

**Satino Morella: King Canoli; The Cobra; Spitfire**

**James Storm: Ambassador Redneck; Last Call; The Great and Powerful Trixie**

**Christopher Daniels: Mr. Preppy; The BME, Angel Wings; Zecora**

**Chris Masters: Combolock; Masterlock; Cherilee**

**AJ Styles; Mayor of Redneckville; The Styles Clash; Applebloom**

**Cody Rhodes: Scrooge McDuck; CrossRhodes; Sweetiebelle**

**Kofie Kingston: Issac the bartender; Sos, Trouble in Paradise; Scootaloo**

**Vince McMahon: Mr. Thrifty; McStunner; Berry Punch**

**Kurt Angle: Dick with ears; Angle slam, Angle lock; Mayor Mare**

**Teddy Long: Grannys boy toy; Holla, Holla; Granny Smith**

**Melina: SpanishFly: The Bulldog; Doctor Whooves**

**Shawn Michaels: Gumshoe; Sweet Chin Music; Nurse RedHeart**

**Candence Michelle: Boobiehead; The Candy Wrapper; Bourbon**

**Shane McMahon: BabyTrump; flying elbow; Braeburn**

**The Dudley Boys: The Miser Brothers; Table slam; Dinky Doo**

**Kane: Mr. Hook; Choke slam; BabyCakes**

**Linda McMahon: Mrs. Moneybags; slaps and lowblow**

**Stone Cold: Mr. DTA; The Stone Cold Stunner**

**The Rock: Mr. Strudel; The Rock Bottom**

**Nick Foley: Psychotackman; Mr Socko**

**Roddy Piper: HotRod; Eye poke, Sleeper hold**

**Commentators**

**Jim Ross **

**Jerry "The King" Lawler**

**(Spanish Commentators)**

**Hector Guerrero**

**Tito Santana**

**Sweet Lucille "Lucille Biggmomma Arabian Apollonian mare (right side of Hector)**

**Rodrigo Alberto DeLaMenza (left side of Tito Santana)**

**A/N: Ok guys I got this list for you guys and now here's your score card. Keep it, look it up and protect it with your life. Anyway please check out my wife's oneshots and show some love for these authors I love their stories and here they are. The Elements of Harmony: The Next Generation by DiscordantPrincess, ArdryFeare, Before the Dawn by Arwingmaster1, My Little Pony Bonds Beyond Worlds Turn 5 by Geasswolf, Biggmomma46, There's more to life than riding by Xmoderbrony, How I became a Brony by Faolan211 take a look at these stories and read them and review them give the love they deserve by your constructive criticism thanks again everypony. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Pony dot com**

**Ok its seems I have a controversy with this story and it seems those other trolls from the Sonic sandbox is coming around here lets love and tolerate the shit out of them and do your duty as authors and report them for abuse to see what I'm talking about check out my reviews to see the offending trolls. Ok that is said My Little Pony Friendship is Magic belongs to Hasbro and Queen Lauren Faust *bows* and Rodrigo and Sweet Lucille belongs to us. Also I know thanksgiving already pass so better late than never enjoy.**

As the camera focus on a schoolhouse and children are leaving the school. The camera pans back slowly till it leads to a room with a t.v. in the…

***ZZZZZZZZZZTHHHHH***

***ZZZZZZZZZZZTHHHH***

Rodrigo's looks at his screen and thought "Da Fuq"

*****_**Ding**_*****

**50maggs: **Hello Equestria

**Skittles: **Hey maggs, "Dash (in a defeated tone)"

**50maggs: **So are you ready for today?

**Skittles:** Do you still want me to go through with this?

**50maggs: **Yeah Dash a bet is a bet you gotta pay up. I understand you wanted to back out from it but everypony in equestrian will see you as a welsher.

**Skittles: **Look maggs I'm no welsher (as Dash looked at the side and sees a package wrapped with twine.)

**Sweet Lucille: **Hey what's going on here?

**Skittles: **Hey Lucille I'm trying to weasel my way out of the bet.

**Sweet Lucille: **You bet with Bubba Keg and lost. I warned you Dash not to bet with Bubba Keg over there.

**50maggs:** What did you Say?

**Sweet Lucille: **You heard me I didn't stutter Bubba Keg.

**50maggs: **Anyway as I said before you back out of a bet with me then you are a welcher.

**Sweet Lucille: **Bubba Keg,

**50maggs: I'M NOT LISTENING!**

**Sweet Lucille: **Bubba Keg,

**Dr. Shy: **Um…..Um…Lucille,

**Sweet Lucille: **Yes babygirl,

**Dr. Shy: **Um…. I placed a bet and lost, please don't hate me.

**Sweet Lucille: **Rodrigo! How could you do that to Fluttershy.

**50maggs: **Look Lucille the bet I did with flutters was an easy one, I thought she won the bet when she answered how many animals at her cottage. But she guessed wrong,

**Dr. Shy: **Um…Um….I didn't count Angel at that point. So don't be upset at me Lucille a bet is a bet.

**Sweet Lucille: **Ok babygirl, I'm not mad at you, but Bubba Keg that bet doesn't count because she forgot to count Angel so the bet is null and void isn't that right Bubba Keg (gives Rodrigo the look.)

**50maggs: **Ok but she will sing that part with no turkey suit.

**Sweet Lucille: **Ok, so how many bets have you done and won?

**Twikle: MAGGS! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!**

**Applebuck: **Tarnation maggs where are you? So I could buck you,

**Very Random Mare: **(wearing turkey costume) Hey maggs when can we start? I'm tickled pink on the fun

**Sexypurpledragon: **Well I'm doing the background singing no turkey costume for this dragon full of swag,

**50maggs: **Spike be glad I gave you this option or you will be the cutest turkey *snickers*,

**Biggflank:** **RODRIGO!** (Right eye twitches) What is the meaning of this? (Holds up turkey costume) A lady of my stature wears this horrid outfit? I don't think so.

**Sweet Lucille: **Rarity do you think you can get your big flank in it?

**Biggflank: **Hrmmph! For your information Lucille my flank is much smaller than yours.

**Sweet Lucille:** Rarity what you need to do, is worry about whether or not the weather center is going to use you as a weather balloon. You are already the right color, with that granny blue hair.

**Biggflank: **(Stares at screen) **GRANNY BLUE HAIR! THIS IS MY NATURAL COLOR WOMAN!**

**Sweet Lucille: EXCUSE ME! LISTEN SKANK! JUST TAKE YOUR FLANK OUT OF HERE!**

**50maggs: OK THAT'S ENOUGH! **As much I love to see you two go at it this is my day to shine.

**Sweet Lucille: **Listen Bubba Keg I say enough is enough when I'm good and ready too.

**Molestia Sun: **You tell him Lucille.

**Sweet Lucille: **Sup TIA so you lost the bet also.

**Molestia Sun: **Unfortunately and so my sister.

**Sexual eternal night: **Tis true

**Thumping Angel: NOT COOL!**

**Tavihearts: **Undignified,

**Mr. Apoloosa: **Not fair

**Hung Like Horse: **Where are you, I'm not going to hurt you much.

**Eeyup man: **Eeyynope and I'm with AJ and buck you every which way till next summer.

**Mr. Chaos: **(muffled) Hello can't see, frozen in stone duh?

**50maggs: **How does he do that? Anyway as many more of those who lost here's something extra, thanks to Tia we are hooked up to our servers and all of us are on Skype live and in color.

**Dr. Shy: WHAT?!**

**Skittles: **OH NOOOOooooooo…..

**Twikle: HORSEFEATHERS!**

**Very random mare: **Ohhhhh I see everypony (waves) *giggles & snort*

**Biggflank: **Oh the horror

**Luckyrose: **Hey that's my line :p

**Luckyrose: **_logged out_

**Whateva mare: **I don't know why everypony is complaining about it I think it's cute (wearing turkey costume with her crown on top

**Zorro: **Cadence sweetie I have a rep to protect.

**Whateva mare: **Shining sweetie if you don't then your new bed is the couch and no nookie for you indefinitely.

**Zorro: **(stares at screen and typed) yes dear.

**Sweet Lucille: **Whateva mare don't be so hard on Zorro he's a man he doesn't know any better.

**Mr. Kindness: **Well I'll say this is the most fun I had since my boarding school days.

**Pieman: **Maggs I swear if any of the Wonderbolts catch wind of this your life as a male is over squeaky.

**Redhot mama: **Speak for yourself Soarin you better sleep with one eye open.

**Trixie the 3****rd****: **The great and powerful Trixie does not wear any costume.

**50maggs: **Then Trixie on top of being a liarand a welcher on that list, and let's see it opens new work for you.

**Trixie the 3****rd****: **(glares and scowl at screen) It seems you have a point maggs. "If I get my hooves on you, your grandparents will feel it" *mumbled*

**Rhyming Queen: **It's not fair to wear this costume in my lair.

**SweetT: **You're going to get detention for the rest of your life.

**Princess Buck: **Are you going to..*puppy dog look*

**Sweet Cheeks: **Make us wear..*puppy dog look*

**Chicken Filly: **That turkey costume..*puppy dog look*

**50maggs: **Gah! That cursed look ok you three are joining spike as the background singers

**CMC: ***Yay* in unison.

**Sweet Lucille: **Cutie Mark Crusaders strikes again.

**Mumbles: **(muffled) mmmfh, mmmfh, mmmfh, *you see berry punch wearing the turkey costume backwards*

**50maggs: **Berry you need to…. All never mind who else is in my love fest today.

**Mcougar: **I swear I'll shove a new proclamation up where the sun don't shine.

**Anniegetyourgun: **Aint wearin that damn costume.

**50maggs: **Yes ma'am you will be with the others in the group singing background.

**Sweet Lucille: **Maggs how come she gets a yes ma'am and I don't?

**50maggs: **Easy she's more scarier then you are and one day I want to have children.

**Timelordtardy: **Blast this infernal costume why can't you have a simpler way like an auto dresser like everypony else.

**50maggs:** Ah whooves look around where we are and comfort is not coming if you lift a hoof about it *snickers*

**Ouchy911: **Rodrigo you know that the next time you come to the hospital I'll be waiting at the door with a big huge needle and an evil grin.

**Little muffin: **Where's my costume (pouty face)

**50maggs: **It should be there I used Pony Express ask your mom.

**Muffin Queen: **I got them both we're ready to have fun as turkeys.

**Little muffin: **Yay! Turkey

**Girlypie: **I got my turkey costume on and nopony said anything about it. (Pouty face)

**50maggs: **Babycakes I like it looks really cute on you.

**Girlypie: **Really (eyes wide and sparkling)

**50maggs: **Yep babycakes you are the cutest turkey on Skype.

**Sweet Lucille: **Maggs please don't encourage her. She is already hard enough to live with as is.

**Girlypie: **Geez mama you are embarrassing me (rolls eyes)

**Tallglassof water: **Tell me again how we ended up doing this in the first place.

**Puddles: **You and I didn't hand in our homework to Miss Cherilee on time this is our punishment.

**Smellypup: **I tell you Rauf know you two are smart and figure way out of punishment.

**50maggs: **(right eye starts twitching) ok…I love to have a very scintillating conversation on Hawkins string theory, but right now I need my intelligence to make mac-n-cheese.

**Tallglassofwater: **What is sintu whatever?

**Puddles: **Yeah what is mac-n-cheese?

**Smellypup: **What is conver whatever you called it?

**50maggs: **(starts to twitch) Ok Snips, Snails, and Rauf go to the background singers study your lines and just go please just go.

**Mclotabitch: **Excuse me?

**50maggs: **Yes Diamond Tiara what is it.

**Mclotabitch: **why are me and my friend bunched in with these riffraff's?

**50maggs: **Excuse me?

**No.2**: Yeah what Tiara says.

**50maggs: **Ok first thing both of you lost a bet with me and as a result you doing this, If not all of equestrian will see you as welshers.

**Mclotabitch: **Well I don't care my daddy is rich and he will buy you off anytime.

**No. 2: **Yeah so is my daddy.

**50maggs: **(laughing evilly) really? It's so sad if you do walk out these pictures I just got in my paws of two certain fillies making out with each other. (Looks at photos) tsk, tsk, tsk, such an unbecoming behavior from both of you.

**Mclotabitch: **…?

**No.2: **…?

**50maggs: **Nothing to say let's just say if you do this then these pictures will not appear at any newspapers is that clear?

**Mclotabitch: **Ye…Yes sir.

**No.2: **…..Yes sir

**50maggs: **Now go study your lines and be ready when you sing in your turkey costume and go and put it on right now.

**Mclotabitch: **Right away sir.

**No.2: **On it sir

**50maggs: **I love blackmail makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

**Sweet Lucille:** What you want me to do maggs?

**50maggs: **Right now don't get in any fights especially with Rarity.

**Sweet Lucille: **Why would I want to get in a fight with a granny blue haired, big flank, home wrecking skank, like Rarity.

**50mags: ** Ok….I see you are on good terms with Rarity wonderful (hint of sarcasm), so now everypony ready?

**All ponies and Rauf: **Yes

**50maggs: **(With a very big smile) Let's begi…..

**Dweebbitch: HOLD IT!**

**50maggs: **Huh? Who are you?

**Dweebbitch: **Who am I guess?

**Skittles: **Gilda?

**Dweebbitch: **Yep it seems somepony remembers.

**50maggs:** What are you doing here? I thought this online chat was not cool enough for you Gilda.

**Dweebbitch: **It's still not but I must voice my displeasure of a certain individual.

**50maggs: **Ummm…..When did this discussion became C-Span?

**Skittles: **Uh…Maggs , Gilda graduate Magna Cum Laude at Oxford.

**50maggs: **…? How did she… Never mind anyway what is your beef spill it,

**Dweebbitch:** It seems that you have won various bets from a plethora of individuals.

**50maggs: **Listen professor get to the point before I grow a beard here.

**Dweebbitch: **Ok listen up dweeb, you made those bets with everypony but did you forget the one bet you made with me?

**50maggs: **Wait…I don't remember that Gilda, please elaborate (smirks at screen)

**Dweebbitch: **Well remember that bet you made at the Cloudiseum,

**50maggs: **Yeah but I don't remember you being there at all.

**Dweebbitch: **Well I got proof (Gilda plays a video of a hooded figure handing a piece of paper to Rodrigo as you see him signing it.)

**50maggs:** Wait a minute that was you I thought you were a rabid fan of the Rodrigo experience.

**Sweet Lucille: **The what experience bubba keg

**Dweebbitch: **Heh, heh, heh, heh, bubba keg good one Lucille.

**50maggs: **Wait you know Lucille?

**Sweet Lucille: **Of course bubba keg who you think is getting back at you.

**50maggs:** For what? Me having my day.

**Sweet Lucille: **Um…Yeah, whatever bubba keg.

**50maggs: **Alright what was in that piece of paper that I signed.

**Sweet Lucille: **It was a contract that you signed that stated if you got one single laugh from someone when I called you bubba keg that you had to wear the turkey suit in the middle of Ponyville and gobble.

**50maggs: **Do what?

**Sweet Lucille: **You heard what I said get to gobblin.

**Dweebbitch: **Yeah you heard Lucille and if you think I haven't forgotten your costume it's at your door step right now.

**50maggs: **Yes I got the package, what's that smell?

**Sweet Lucille: **It's where I farted in the suit and put in directly in the package so deal with it bubba keg.

**50maggs: **Damn smells like horseshit.

**Dweebbitch: ***chuckles* good one Lucille.

**Sweet Lucille: **I have you know I smell like roses and even though Gilda doesn't like me she laughs at my putdowns against you so that's all that matters.

**50maggs: **You know you two are horrible, just horrible but a bet is a bet (puts on turkey costume.)

**Sweet Lucille: ***gets camera out* don't you look so cute in your turkey suit, *snickers*

**Dweebbitch: **Hold on I'm recording this on my new smart phone on camera mode.

**50maggs: **Ok laugh it up you two before I go get everypony ready ok Sweet Lucille.

**Sweet Lucille: **ok bubba keg.

**50maggs: **Ha, ha, _logged out._

Minutes later at the center of town in front of the fountain that has Celestia on top. You see a turkey wearing Rodrigo entering the final keystrokes on his laptop and got back online on Skype.

**50maggs: **Is everypony ready?

**Sweet Lucille: **Ha!, ha!, you look can I say so much of a drag queen, don't you look so purdy.

**Dweebbitch: **That's so funny I almost peeing on myself.

**50maggs: **Ok Beavis and Butthead let's get this over with, this costume is hot, stinky, itchy and something funny I'm feeling inside.

**Sweet Lucille: **Huh, huh, huh, huh

**Dweebbitch: **Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

**50maggs: **(Paws face) ok…..let's start my glorious day.

**Everypony in turkey suits: **_**Dun, dadun, dun, Dun! Oh, I'm some lame-o turkey, as stupid as they come too!**_

_**Cut off my head, stuff me with bread,**_

We see some bread appearing in the fake beak.

_**Go suck your hoof!**_

Soon the CMC, Grannie Smith, Fluttershy, Sweet Lucille, Snips, Snails, Spike, and Rauf appear on a separate screen as they all sang at the same time.

**All: **_**Go….And…Suck….Your….Hooooooooooooof!**_

**50maggs: **Epic everypony, epic I hate this costume. I feel like something crawling around my body.

**Dweebbitch: **Well I added something extra, thanks to Lucille.

**Sweet Lucille: **Oh, yeah! Lots of creepy crawly things, red ants and spiders, the red ants sting and make you itch.

**50maggs: **You did **WHAT!** I'm getting out of this costume what a minute this zipper I can't pull it down **WHAT DID YOU DO!**

**Sweet Lucille: **It's was the last costume they had, and it had a bad zipper. It's not my fault that the zipper didn't work.

**Dweebbitch: **Really? I thought that place had plenty of turkey costumes..

**50maggs: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU TWO *OUCH* I'M GOING TO FIND YOU *OUCH, OUCH* OH NO NOT MY JUNK.**

**Sweet Lucille: **And you know what bubba keg the real funny thing about this that everypony here is watching you right now.

**50maggs: **You didn't did you, yes you did. I'm going to kill you two *ouch*, itch, itch, itch….. **I GET NO LOVE HERE….ZZZZZZZZZZHHHHHHHH, ZZZZZZZZHHHHH**

**Dweebbitch: **Well Lucille another satisfied customer.

**Sweet Lucille: **High fives Gilda and does the happy dance.

_**Author: **__So another controversial chapter that was for thanksgiving is coming out on Saints Patrick's Day, Palm Sunday and Easter! Damn that's late but it's here regardless._

**Rodrigo: Yep I love controversy I fell like the Larry Flynt of fanfiction wooohooo.**

_**Author:**__ Wait a minute is that the reason why I got phone calls from strange mares in ponyville saying that you were offering a million bits for any mare poses naked in your magazine?_

**Rodrigo: Uhhhhhhhh…You could say that it's true in some parts.**

_**Author: **__First off you don't own Hustler magazine and second you don't have a million bits and I got the receiving end of every angry mare from Twilight to Derpy sweet lovable Derpy could cuss like a sailor and Fluttershy cusses like a marine gunnery Sargent. What do you have to say for yourself? _

**Rodrigo: Ummmmmmm…..Oh ooooooo got to go laundry is overcooking bye.**

_**Author: **__(Facepalms) God give me strength._

**A/N: I'm so sorry it's so late enjoy this one and now my updates will be more up to date and reliable for my lazy but lol. Anyway have fun with this chapter and give me the reviews (pouty face) pleaseeeeeeeeeeee. The song came from a fanfic some lame-o Turkey by JusSonic based off the Homstar Runner shorts have a great day HUZZAHHHHHH!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Pony dot com**

**Chapter 6: The St. Patrick's Day Edition**

**Ok I know it's early but I have this thought in my head and have to write it down. All the ponies are not mine they belong to Hasbro and Lauren Faust my oc's or Rodrigo and Sweet Lucille belongs to me and Biggmomma46 enjoy.**

Today is a special day at ponyville which is St. Pony's Day. All the pony's were putting up the decorations but one pink pony was having fun in her own special way.

**Veryrandommare: **Tee hee, hey anypony here? (in a tipsy tone.)

**Twikle: **Pinkie? What's wrong are you ok?

**Veryrandommare: **Yeah, Hee, hee, hee bright as rain, (squints at screen)

**Twikle: **No your not tell me, please your acting stranger than usual.

**Veryrandommare:** Well I got hold of AJ's hard bucking cider and she made it with Granny Smith apples to give it a green tinge to it.

**Twikle: **How many did you have Pinkie?

**Veryrandommare: **About one or two…

**Twikle: **Oh ok it's not that bad….

**Veryrandommare: **Barrels….

**Twikle: WHAT!**

**50maggs: **Woah what's going on here?

**Sweet Lucille: **Pinkie said she had 2 barrels of hard green cider and then I gave Pinkie some of my shine to compare it too, all I can say is Granny smith got it going on.

**50maggs: **Wait your celebrating without me?

**Sweet Lucille: **Listen bubba keg if I invited you, we wont have any more liquor left and besides you never get drunk why is that?

**50maggs: **Genetics (staring at screen with a smug smile)

**Twikle: **Hmmmmmmm, interesting I would love to run a battery of tests on you Rodrigo.

**50maggs: **Really? Ok on one condition.

**Twikle: **Name it.

**50maggs: **You go out with me on a date, a movie, and dinner I will cook for you and spend some quality time to get to know each other.

**Twikle: **Uhhhhhhhh…..

**Sweet Lucille: **I bet 100 bits she says no.

**Skittles: **I got 200 bits she says yes.

**Molestia Sun: **OK bank is now open and the board says 100 to 1 says yes and 25 to 1 says no.

**50maggs: **What the hell? Is my life more interesting towards yours?

**Sweet Lucille: **Your life interesting? Ha, ha, ha, ha, good one bubba keg no it's our way to tormenting you like a red headed step-child.

**50maggs: **You are all horrible you know that.

**Skittles: **Thanks.

**Sweet Lucille: **Try to do my best bubba keg.

**50maggs: **Anyway what do you say?

**Twikle: **Well?...I don't know let me ask you this, would you be a total gentlecolt during this date?

**50maggs: **Twi I know here on the web I'm a smug, self-centered, arrogant, narcissistic of an ass no offense.

**Crankydoodle: **None taken. _logged out_

**50maggs: **The truth of the matter is I'm a really sweet, loyal, kind, and good hearted, me and the last thing I will do is hurt you or make you so uncomfortable towards me.

**Twikle: **Ummmmmmmm…..

**Skittles: **Twi give him a chance.

**Sweet Lucille: **Dash no coaching right now I feel nauseous (shoving her left hoof in her mouth making gagging sounds)

**50maggs: **Very funny Lucille.

**Sweet Lucille: **First of all Twilight don't believe anything he says he's a man that should speaks volumes and second bubba keg, all that sappiness makes me want to hurl.

**50maggs: **Lucille I won't ever do that towards Twi.

**Twikle: **Alright, just let me think about it. You will get my answer at the end of the day ok.

**Sweet Lucille: **Yeah, whatever bubba keg, you're a man, all men want is sex. Besides I know your background with women and believe me it's not impressive.

**Veryrandommare: **Hey Lucille cut Rodrigo a break we are here to have fun.

**Sweet Lucille: **Why should I give him a break if he goes out with Twi she will get hurt and I don't want that to happen.

**50maggs: **You know what Lucille be like that, I'll tell you this when it's said and done the proof is in the pudding.

**Sweet Lucille: **What eva bubba keg we'll see.

**50maggs: **Anyway I saw the decorations going up through my window so you guys celebrate St, Pony's Day.

**Veryrandommare: **Yup, yup, (fills her tankard with more cider)

**Twinkle: **You know there's a history of this holiday would you like to heart it?

**50maggs: **Sure.

**Sweet Lucille: **Why not got nothing else better to do.

**Veryrandommare: ***Hic*, yeah *hic*, what they say.

**50maggs: **Pinkie are you ok? Your hitting that ale like water.

**Veryrandommare: **What are you implying? That I can't handle my liquor lightweight.

**50maggs: **No Pinkie…Nevermind.

**Mumbles: **Hold on what's going on here?

**Sweet Lucille: **Just getting a history lesson from Miss Egghead over here on St. Pony's Day.

**Mumbles: **No, no, no, unacceptable I will tell the history of St. Pony's Day.

**50maggs: **Really? Berry ok the floor is yours sorry Twi.

**Twikle: **That's ok I'm very curious to hear this myself.

**Mumbles: **(Dons top hat and monocle) good sirs here's the true history of St. Pony's Day from the journal of my great, great, great, great, great ,great grandfather Schnapps. That how he cursed the snakes from a far away land and driven them to the sea and this is a feast of celebration to welcome spring, and we are licensed to drink till we are cross eyed no offense Derpy.

**MuffinQueen: **none taken _logged out._

**Twikle: **That's not a history lesson.

**Mumbles: **I say young mare that's the abridged version so there pip, pip ( in a very Victorian tone)

**Sweet Lucille: **Twi just leave it be your history lessons are a complete snorefest.

**Twikle: **Well If you say so.

**Sweet Lucille: **I know so Mrs. Geek.

**Mumbles: **besides I got a shipment of 10 barrels of AJ's hard cider at my place and I feel for a drinking contest is everypony in?

**Everypony: HELL YEAH!**

As everybody logged out and went to Berry Punch's house to have that drinking contest.

_**Several hours later at Rodrigo's house**_

**50maggs: **Hey anypony sober to talk to me?

**Twikle:** Wellllllllll hello there you handsome *hic* of a *hic* stud.

**50maggs: **Ok you are smashed.

**Twikle: **No *hic* I'm the purple alicorn *hic* princess wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee…..

**50maggs: **Ok anypony else?

**Dr. Shy: ***Hic* hey hot stud lemme ask you something *hic*

**50maggs: **Ok shy what are you going to ask me?

**Dr. Shy: **(Fells asleep at the keyboard) ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

**Hunglikehorse: **You better stay away from my woman you yella belly, fast talking, *hic* shifty eyed *hic* city slicker *hic*

**50maggs: **Ok…..Bourbon dude I don't play that with your mate.

**Hunglikehorse: **Ok I'll *hic* keep *hic* my eye *hic* on you if you try anything towards my cutesy, wutesy shy you will be a gelding faster you can say…*THUMP*

(you hear Bourbon passing out in the background)

**50maggs: **Ok….*mental note Bourbon an angry drunk keep sharp objects and guns away from his hooves* Is there anypony else who is not hostile tonight.

**Eeyupman: **Hey *hic*

**Mr. Appoloosa: **He cuz, Rodrigo *hic*

**Pieman: **Wat up *hic*, *hic*

**50maggs: **Hey guys what's up.

**Mr. Appoloosa: **Having a good ole time.

**Eeyupman: **Eeyup

**Pieman: **Chillin and being wasted *hic*

**Eeyupman: **Let me ask you something *hic*

**50maggs: **Ok shoot.

**Eeyupman: **I heard you were hitting on my younger sister AJ.

**50maggs: **Look Mac I don't do that.

**Mr. Appolossa: **Why? Our country mares are not good enough for you city slicker.

**Pieman: **What about Pegasus mares not to your liking either *hic*

**50maggs: **Soarin you know me better than that with mares I'm a gentlecolt.

**Eeyupman: **So are you playing for the other team *hic* (blushes)

**50maggs: **What do you mean?

**Mr. Appoloosa: **Ah for pony's sake does your barn door swings the other way.

**Pieman: ***hic* he, he, he, he's so cute when he is clueless.

**50maggs: **Wait a minute are you three hitting on me?

**Eeyupman: **Now you got it good looking *hic*

**Mr. Appoloosa: **Let's see what *hic* got my cuz all hot and bothered do a turn around for me.

**50maggs: **Wait? What? Ok (does a turn around in front of the laptop)

**Pieman: ***hic* (wolf whistle)

**Eeyupman: **WOOOOoooooooweeeeeeee *hic*

**Mr. Appoloosa: ***Hic* you better be good to my cuz and let me tell this *hic* me and my cuz share.

**Pieman: ***hic* hey guys that hottie Whooves is doing karaoke let's go*hic*

**Mr. Appoloosa: **_Logged out_

**Pieman: **_Logged out_

**Eeyupman: **_Logged out_

**50maggs: **How come I feel so dirty right now. I hope things goes my way.

**Mumbles: **_Do you want to see me webcam?_

**50maggs: **Ok why not (clicks on cam icon)

**Mumbles: ***Hic* giggling noise (you see Rarity, Dash, AJ, Berry Punch, and Celestia kissing and making out in front of the cam)

**50maggs: **Damn! Things are looking up for me, Merry Christmas to me (as he is getting into the web cam show, you see a hoof that surprisingly look like a very inebriated Sweet Lucille knocking the laptop on the floor and the screen blacks out.)

**50maggs: I GET NO LOVE HERE!**

**Rodrigo: **Ok my work is done here so easy could you do better than that boss.

**Author: **Really? Well you better get ready for real work on Rays of Hope.

**Rodrigo: **Oh yeah I will be ready anything else?

**Author:** Yeah I got several phone calls from a bunch of mares claiming you have been propositioning them in their drunken state, what do you have to say for yourself?

**Rodrigo: **Ummmmmmmmmm gotta go (uses smoke bomb)

**Author: **RODRIGO! God give me strength.

**A/N: Ok this chapter is done enjoy the laughs and leave me a review take care everypony.**


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